Okay I guess I was a little harsh the last post.

I read Oh's last post and they think it was either Me or Sarah that wrote the hate-you note. I didn't. Yes I do read her blog.. I think their rather funny in a way and I don't hate 6.3. It's not that I hate her or anything. It's just that I'm scared :l I hate sudden changes.. And I never said any of those things that they claim I said. The beggining of the year was okay until she suddenly hated us for a reason I didn't know. ( And I still don't )

Her name is like taboo. I want to talk to her and clear my name. BUT I'm too much of a coward. Maybe I'm becoming like Bj.. Friend paranoid. Although Bj got better and I seemed to get worse. One bad thing, I just go down. I have nothing against them. It doesn't matter if they don't believe me, cos' I don't know how we're gonna go back to be like last time. And you don't know how much I wanted to wish her Happy Birthday. I dared myself about 5 times whenever I got the chance but my stupidity just stopped me.

I'm not that bad a person. At least I think I am. I don't even know my personality and if it was bad, I don't want things to be this bad. I'm too scared that things might go worse if I tried anything to make it better.

I don't know about the rest of the class, but I really don't want a fight. It would just make things worse and that's the last thing I want. Even if there was one, I don't want to have anything to do with it.

It's great that she has new friends and all but I can't help but wonder if she ever thought about last year. It was really fun.

I have temper problems I guess. If I'm mad I just do stupid things like the last post. Bad things spill out. But their meaningless. Like this I guess. They all seem to be the wrong words to describe my apology for whatever I did wrong and didn't know of. Maybe I did do all those all those things but my miniature brain won't let me remember any of it. This is somehow the worst apology and emo-est post I have ever written. I hope Bj doesn't remind me of it anytime on the phone or in school.

This is such a risk to my sanity. Awkward me.